7.05.2006

My quest for connectivity

This time of the month is a very heartening, in gact, happy time for me, and also for the many poor folks who have been forced into purchasing BSNl's Plan 250 Broadband connection.

Oh, right... let me go from top to bootom.

BSNL - India's 'No.1 Telecom Company' launched its broadband shemes a couple of years back. The entry level plan is:

You pay Rs.250 per month for a apeed of 256 kbps
You get '24 hrs' connectivity

Sounds good... but lets look deeper...

You pay Rs. 250 per month for a max of (256 divided by 8) KBps
You get 24 hrs connectivity, (which even any dial up thing gives), but that stops with connectivity alone. You can, transfer on a measly 400 MB per month. That comes close to only 14 MB a day. People who really know how much they actually browse a month will just throw back their heads and laugh. (To give u a rough estimate, moderate browsing for about 3 hours a day takes away 15-20 MB outta your total tranfer limit.

Just plain F***kers, arent they? To tell u the truth, I decided to try it out, and found my account over by the 15th of every month...And that brings us back to the intention behind my first sentence.

As for other plans, dont even look into them... Extravagant, that it. You pay 500 bucks a month, and they give you 1GB limit.Thats really extreme. If you just want to do shopping or go to church, you have the option of either buying a baby tricycle or going for a Porche/Mercedes Benz. Thats the gist of it. As for reverting back to your plain ol' dial up, just forget it... You VERY well know what it means.

The BSNl's stinginess/wickedness doesnt end just here. Before I go on, a small warning.

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YOU CAN GET A STICH/HEART ATTACK WARNING:
The following sentences can make the faint-of-heart people among you die of laughter. That is not to mean that sad people, undertakers, everything-is-a-stupid-joke-for-me kinda people are to read this... Do it at your own risk. Neither am I nor is blogger.com responsible for any consequences(read: stitch, stroke, death, fits, etc) resulting from unsolicited reading of the following textual content.
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Yeah... the wickedness... I got myself a GPRS phone and good humouredly enquired about BSNL's little-known GPRS service. I had a shock - they offer 4MB of download PER MONTH! That's like (I'm going hysterical) 15 minutes of hmoderate-heavy browsing... AND, you gotta pay Rs.300 a month for those precious 15 minutes! %@&%%$#*%$&$#@@#&%^&^##&%^$^%$%$##

I didnt stop there. Airtel offered unlimited GPRS for just 400 per month. I thought I'd try it out. But oh, for malignant Fate! Suddenly the question - "Why the hell isnt anybody in Kerala(or anybody I know) using Airtel's cell phone connection atleast? I queried a few, and one of them even came to me with his old Airtel simcard to my house. The encounter ran something like this:

Him:So u wanna go for Airtel.
Me: Yeah.
Him:Ok, what place is this?
Me: Huh?
Him: What is the name of the place in which we are currently standing now?
(He sounds irritated, so I decide not to answer 'Earth')
Me: Sreevaraham (thats where I live)
Him: Chk this out...
(he open his old mobile, and switches it on, and it gives the desktop. He turns the screen toweards me)
Me: Oh shit!

It displayed (with its superior GPS capabilities), the name of the current place as a place 1 or 2 kms away from my place. And I, for god's sake, live right in the heart of the city!!!


I shouldnt end this posting without a good poke atr BSNL's rivals - Asianet Cable tv broadband. From the way their offers come, it seems they are in ACUTE shortage of money, and are willing to give you a computer (and their house, too, most probably in the coming years) if only you sign up for their broadband service. As for the speed - forget it - Its slower than good ol' dialup.

Thats it for now. And for your info, NEVER EVER take these techno stuff in India seriously... Unless you enjoy boring holes in your pocket. Deep holes.


.Peace.
THE SMOKIN' WDM2

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