8.05.2006

Servile letters

Dear Sir,

I humbly beg to request a kind favour from your esteemed self. Due to unavoidable circumstances, I was compelled to shift the point of my residence from the following correspondece address:

3425-A,
Green Valley,
Golf-Court Road,
New Delhi.

The new point of my hence shifted residence, I humbly present before you:

913,
Apartment no.24A,
Ambedkar Marg,
New Delhi.

I hereby place my small humble request before you. I request you to kindly change my residential address as mentioned in your company's records for the subscription to The Smokers' Digest, to this new address that I have mentioned above in this letter dated the 5th of August 2006. This shall be of very great help to myself and to the postman.

I therefore, humbly beg to request your esteemed self to subject his letter to your kind consideration and do the needful at the earliest possible.

Thanking you,
X


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What the hell is the point of all this formal, buttoned-upto-the throat manner and this awful, undue, unsolicited, absolutely unnecessary cringing and crawling 'before your esteemed omnipotence'? I fail to understand how a very humble, almost servile attitude can invoke the 'kind consideration' of the reader. Tut! these are just subtle nuances of language. Hand the above letter to a busy man and he'll just throw it in your face and yell, "What the heck is the point of this letter?"

The same letter could be written as follows:
********************************************

Dear Sir,

I request you to change my subscription address of The Smoker's Digest from the following:
3425-A,
Green Valley,
Golf-Court Road,
New Delhi.

To the following address:
913,
Apartment no.24A,
Ambedkar Marg,
New Delhi.

Please do the needful at the earliest.

Thank you,
(A more intelligent) X.

****************************************************

PS: Paper is really precious... more so is time.

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