5.24.2007

Chengalization

Somewhere in the nooks and corners of Trivandrum breeds a species of annoying youth. Their infection spreads throughout the place and threatens the very existence of individuals like us. Whatever makes them different from normal youngsters like *ahem* us.. is precisely what they lack and we have.

Ambiguous...I guess that's how I sound. Righto, let me clear the mist. These damn bloodypests call themselves 'youth' and go 'bout the bloomin' city like they are the trend, not realizing that they are the most ill-civilised, ugly-looking idiotic rascals of all time. They think wearing jeans, huge belt-buckles, donning skull-caps and riding pulsars is all what it takes to be fashionable. Well, they got the thing hugely off-track.

They are there in every place. Most of them are like rakes, and bent ones too (concave from front). What they wear on their damn carcasses is a huge statement in itself... A collage of grossly misfitting rugs with... well, not in one sentence. I guess it'll take a paragraph in itself. Here goes.. from top to bottom.

Hair on the head is glued to the head with a rich anointment of coconut oil. The sticky liquid is, however, unable to prevent the hair from (or it induces) extreme wavy patterns(think uncooked Maggi noodles)on it.

Short shirts, hugging the torso and ending a few millimetres beneath the belt(obviously not tucked in) have been adopted as their fashion. The belt consists of a strand of dog-collar leather, with a huge cast-iron buckle (about a foot in diameter) holding the two pieces together. The bottom affair was formerly jeans(not the decent ones but the 'boot-cut' and bell-bottom type ones) but these bastards have resorted to wearing our good ol' baggy 'cargo' (along with a few yards of loose-hanging rope stuck to the pockets). Footwear is invariably high-friction, high decibel sandals which are meant to be kept on top of the bottom part of the jeans(which are made to form a layer between the road and the footwear).

They speak the basest,most crude form of Malayalam and the better-off ones vainly attempt to speak weirdly accented 'Engleeehsh'. They infest their filthy culture on their brothers and friends and it spreads like some sort of trend (God forbid!) into hitherto decent schools.

Now, I would not have given a damn if they had remained in their own uncouth way for ever. What happens is the annexation of fashion. For example, caps were decent stuff that kept out solar activity from burning out the eyes and melting the human processor. This being 'annexed' a few months back, various black things now walk along the roads donning these caps and even cargo-trousers! After this shameless annexation, we have second thoughts of going out in the streets wearing what they have recently adopted as fashion... makes people relate you to them... I hope you get the point :| The same goes for other cool, hippy stuff which would cease to be cool if it were found on them.

Ah, about the title... I'm not very clear about the origin of the root word, but "Chengal-choola" is a slum-area somewhere in trivandrum where these people originally came from.

10 comments:

raghu said...

maharashtrian ghatis :D

Urgu said...

uncooked maggi noodles....neat. but dont u think scum like these dont merit a whole damn post?

The Smokin' WDM2 said...

@raghu: I'm not much acquainted with MH, what are those btw?

@urgu: Sometimes the undeserved deserve a whole rot of undeserved attention.

PS: cud u try explaining the ghati-stuff to me?

The Blue Indian said...

A similar species exists here in Mumbai too and are referred to as 'mawalis' or 'taporis' (Hindi moviegoers will be familiar with these terms) and yeah.. even 'ghaatis' at times!! And like you, even I am allergic to these bugs. These species also show the tendency to ogle/stare at female individuals of human species here. Dont know about your bugs though!

The Blue Indian said...

A similar species exists here in Mumbai too and are referred to as 'mawalis' or 'taporis' (Hindi moviegoers will be familiar with these terms) and yeah.. even 'ghaatis' at times!! And like you, even I am allergic to these bugs. These species also show the tendency to ogle/stare at female individuals of human species here. Dont know about your bugs though!

The Smokin' WDM2 said...

@blue-indian: Of course they do! Dont even ask :)

Sneha said...

yuck, yuck. Lafanga-clan must be banned!

Sidhusaaheb said...

That's a really, really funny post!

:D

Those guys should try to be more original.

Macabreday said...

he he..i know what u mean..i can almost vizualize it :) u get to see plenty in chennai too.

The Smokin' WDM2 said...

@ Sneha, Sidhusaaheb: :)

@Mac: Yeh... chennai has a lot of them - brown jeans, peculiar(but splittingly funny) accent, and to top it all, everyone has a mobile phone ("cellu") :)