1000 hrs: Wake up, get out of the bed and switch on the bloody box. Head over for a leak.
10 mins later(time t=0): 'Microsoft Windows XP professional' (whee)
t=10 mins: 'One of your disks needs to be checked for fidelity. *gasp* It's really not necessary, but it's strongly recommended that you head over to the fridge, have a couple of drinks and come back after an hour.'
t=65 mins: *hic*
t=75: *Startup sound plays*
t=80: 'It's now safe to start using windows' (yipee)
t=81: 'explorer.exe not responding... rundll32.exe has been called in to tackle the situation. DO NOT PANIC'
t=82: 'Starting CPR...'
t=84: 'Rundll32.exe has performed an illegal operation(killed explorer.exe) and will be terminated'
t=90: 'terminator.exe not responding. Back up'
*I run to the door*
t=91: 'User need not panic. Previous System Message(tm) meant "save a copy of all essential files so that they can be used later"
t=92: 'terminator.exe will be back... please stand by'
t=100: 'the_messiah.exe executing...cleaning up errors'
t=101: 'warning: BG will not be responsible for anything that happens on this system(tm) running Microsoft (tm) Windows (R) xp Professional(c).'
t=102: 'System recovery successful. You may now continue using this computer. Do not attempt any hard tasks on your computer for two days. System still in Microsoft ICU (tm).'
t=103: 'Your mouse has moved. Microsoft (tm) Windows (R) xp Professional(c) must be restarted for the changes to take effect. Restarting...'
*sigh* All because I have no broadband transfer left to download linux.