6.21.2008

Top M$ jabs <> Top linux slogans

Sometimes, certain situations (like my earlier post)really support the fact --> never trust anyone called Gates, who sells you W!ndow$.
After reading Hari-chettan's recent post, here is something to.. um...inspire(!) you further!

www.humorix.org has some splendid slogans dug from across the world. A few of my favourites:

#  A computer without W!ndow$ is like a fish without a bicycle
#  Scared of speed? If so, then try W!ndow$.
#  W!ndow$ and DOS -- a turtle and it's shell (<-- shell.. got it?)
#  The word "W!ndow$" is a word out of an old dialect of the Apaches. It means: "White man staring through glass-screen onto an hourglass..."

#  Bugs come in through open W!ndow$.
#  I still miss W!ndow$, but my aim is getting better. 
#  Hiroshima '45...Tschernobyl '86...W!ndow$ '95... W!ndow$ '98...
#  A fool and his money are soon using W!ndow$.
#  W!ndow$ is a pane in the ASCII ;)
#  M!cro$oft broke Volkswagen's world record: Volkswagen only made 22 million bugs!

#  I once heard B!ll Gate$ say, "WHAT?!?! Netscape caused an 'invalid page fault'??! Only M!cro$oft programs have the code to do that!"

#  W!ndow$ found - Remove? (Y)es (S)ure (F)ine (O)K (G)reat!
#  Two computer people discussing those old stories about B!ll Gate$' name adding up to 666 in ASCII:
"I hear that if you play the NT 4.0 CD backwards, you get a satanic
message
"
"...That's nothing. If you play it forward, it installs NT 4.0!"

#  To segfault is human; to bluescreen moronic.
#  Why use W!ndow$, when linux gives you the whole house?
#  The best W!ndow$ accelerator is that which works at 9.8 m/s2!
#  Computers are like air conditioners, dont open Windows if you want them to work properly.

#  M!cro$oft should switch to vacuum cleaner business, where people actually want their products to suck ;)

To finish it off, "The box said, works with W!ndow$ Vista or better... so I installed linux!"

Update:
1) N just saw his Vista Ultimate display a BSOD! HA!
2) Thanks to tuxmachines.org, the traffic to this blog skyrocketed since yesterday night, with visits from Europe and the US outnumbering those from India :D
3) Wohoo! Most number of comments :)

28 comments:

Sidhusaaheb said...

:D

ഞാന്‍ said...

"Throw Windows Out of your Computer OR throw your computer Out of your Windows" - RMS (licensed with GPLv3 ;) )

Sriram said...

@sidhusaaheb: :)

@ ഞാന്: hehe... good one! Thanks for dropping by :)

Hari Shanker said...

LOL!!

My fav:
->
# Micro$oft should switch to vacuum cleaner business, where people actually want their products to suck ;)

Matt said...

Those are the best!

mattiz said...

IBM = I Blame Microsoft :)

Macabreday said...

lol..this is not ur first anti windows post, if i remember correctly :)
but me being a non tech kinda guy, never bothered tryin anything other than windows. ive had plenty of trouble with vista though, n now wish i just had XP

Sriram said...

@hari: Yup, I too liked it a lot... so much that I even typed it as sample input for a c++ program (computer project), printed it and submitted it! That project was full of OpenSource propaganda :)

@matt: Thanks.. so u came in from tuxmachines.org? Golly, I WAS surprised when I saw my post at the front page last night!

@mattiz: Yup.. :) those old wars between them!

@mac(wow.. matt, mattiz, mac!): ive had plenty of trouble with vista though, n now wish i just had XP--> lol.. xp is the best windows till date :D

g-man said...

ah, i recall i once dissed vista in a story i wrote. you can read it here if you're interested :)

"turtle and its shell" rofl! loved the hiroshima joke as well :) nice collection man. i still remember when all the computers in the loyola school lab had windows NT in them. i thought i was living in hell!

g-man said...

o, and there's this joke i think you might like

hubby to his wife: bring me a cup of coffee will ya hon?
wife: go get it yourself
hubby: sudo get me a cup of coffee
wife: ok i'll go fix it up right now

pR@tz said...

off topic....

try this in your gnu/linux shell

man woman

and see the results... ;)

(source: Linux community in Orkut)

Sriram said...

@ g-man: My God.. I still remember that retarded OS! The year was two thousand-something, but the GUI resembled '95... all hail Shijo sir for such innovation :)
And I've read that post of urs.. cool one!
sudo indeed.. hehe :D

@ pR@tz: yeah, man-pages... "no manual entry for women"

n i t i n said...

good one man...:D

Anonymous said...

My favourite:
"GNU+Linux is like a wigwam: no windows, no gates and an apache inside."

Sriram said...

@nitin: Pleasure :)
@anon: hehe, thats a new one :D

Chris Lees said...

I heard that second-last one as "The first time Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck, it will be a vaccum cleaner"

Sriram said...

@chris: Wow.. that sounds better!

DAY said...

"How can you see the whole Real world through Micro and $oft Windows?"

I always ask others this question? ;-)

Vrij said...

Awesome!!

Sriram said...

@day: gee, this is everyone's day!
@vrij: :D Thanks for dropping by! Are you a linux user too?

Hari Shanker said...

"Thanks to tuxmachines.org, the traffic to this blog skyrocketed since yesterday night, "
Guess what, even I got a share of those 'visits'! :-)

Sriram said...

@hari: Yeah I know.. the link! Wow... and this becomes the most commented-upon-post!

silverine said...

@Sriram: Absolutely LOL stuff! I love MS jokes! :)

I used to think that the whole world uses Firefox. Then I saw the Browser stats in my Stacounter and was surprised to see that almost 90% of visitors use IE!! Firefox was a distant second with 25%. And nearly 99% users used Windows! Surprising!!

But bring on the jokes. I am ready and willing to laugh at MS! :)

Sriram said...

The whole world uses Firefox Nothing short of browser-blasphemy! I (and millions of others) use an awesome browser called Opera on another mind-blowing, revolutionary piece of technology called Linux ;)

silverine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
silverine said...

Yep...but Firefox comes second in percentage of users. There are no thirds. Opera doesn't even make the grade!

Reg OS, 99% users use Windows. Linux comes a distant 7. The rest i.e 2nd to 6th rank goes to variants of Windows! I can give you a screen shot of the stats if you want! btw I am neither pro or anti MS. I will use the product that is best, as a good ol selfish consumer ;)

Sriram said...

@silverine: Opera doesn't even make the grade! Rare and privileged users.. :D One can only pity the people stuck on IE, their doors wide open to trojans, worms, spybots, viruses(why not 'virii', btw?)...

I will use the product that is best, as a good ol selfish consumer ;): There seems to be a little conflict here... Even I usethe best product, you know ;)

ഞാന്‍ said...

Oh! I came here again (unknowingly) through Google :)