Suezmijne (pronounced "Sess-mij-jne", 'jn' as in 'jnaani'. First syllable accent):
The phenomenon is NOT the newest phenomenon as many think it is. It's been around in some special circles for some time, precisely three years(and counting). Made public under some classified reasons of contingency, it made its first public appearance barely a few hours ago. Many great thinkers like John Hobston, Daniel Dickson, Samantha O'Sullivan, Bran "The Brat" Philhardy who dominated the progressive outlook of their time have spent the majority of their lives contemplating the numerous mysteries of this inanimate, yet profoundly (often explicity) hyperactive phenomenon.
The origin of the word is shrouded in mystery itself. People of the northeast claim it to have coined in semblance of a man trying to say "Excuse me" in the middle of a particularly embarrassing sneeze, but critics often point that out as an error arising out of the increasingly-politeness-consciousness of the folk.
Yet another speculation is that it originated from the Blauvian word for a purple pencil sharpener(disambiguation --> the sharpener was purple, not that it sharpened purple-pencils). However die hard supporters of this theory are still working to find out what the purple pencil sharpener had in common with this interesting phenomenon. (Update: Govt. has sanctioned a mainframe computer for the same) Archeologists, on the other hand have gone on strike complaining of lack of funds to continue their work at the base of the Kaynz stationery store, looking for ancient remains that might provide a clue to the above argument.
Often, the gauss theory of electromagnetism has been found to have yielded comletely unexpected results in bizzare exponents when applied to suezmijne. This made it a hit with chemists worldwide, who used it to ridicule the physicists. In late 2005, a group of shady teenagers went on the rampage with poisoned ballpoint pens, asking random pedestrians (and often stopping cars (whose drivers looked kind enough to stop (and not mow them down))) in the street, "Are you suezmijne?". To this day, no one knows what answer they expected - since all those who answered were pricked with the pens coated with some powerful alkaloid, ensuring seizure withing 24 hours. Three days(and tens of mysterious deaths) later, the gang disappeared as mysteriously as they had surfaced.
Suezmijne has interesting properties. It causes the sun to appear to rise in the east and set in the west (rare exceptions have been sighted by regular users of LSD or opium, where the earth was reported to have rose and set in the middle of the Qwarjzk desert on rainy days and spun over Mount Everest in winter). But no more properties have been discovered owing to its rare availbility for examination. The last phoenomenon attributed to Suezmijne was the gruesome torture and subsequent killing of Twenty eight pangolins reported missing over a year ago. Thirteen carcasses were found in a state of extreme horror, in grotesque postures such as never exhibited by the species. Two were beheaded and the rest were found in a terribly ecstasic looking stage, most presumably in hysteria. (There has been some argument over the latter, with some experts claiming it to be a deeply enlightened state of exhilaration and not hysteria - sources unknown).
The cadavers disappeared under mysterious circumstances (some point to spontaneous combustion) on the eve of the autopsy.
Nothing more was heard of the Suezmijne until wee hours of Thursday morning, when a sheaf of classified papers were spotted at the desk of the highest authority (who prefers to remain anonymous). The papers have been withheld in safe custody thence (but there are rumours of some contents having leaked out a few hours ago -- await update), and their appearance have sparked off fresh interest in the subject that has fascinated man for decades.