7.08.2009

Morning raga vs. the unsolicited songworm

Monsoon is the best time to be in Kerala. The weather outside right now is just splendid, with a cold breeze continuously yet unobtrusively keeping one fresh. Some soothing song from the temple nearby sails down in the wind.. at times rising in volume and other times falling.. the horn of the Malabar exp or the occasional night freighter.. Soft music is most beautiful when heard from afar, carried by the breeze. Metal, on the other hand is the most orgasmic when heard in a live concert.

My mind's always in a song.. it's been so for so many years that I dont know when it started. I wake up in the morning to some nice tune, (but not always though.. many a times has 'dappankoothu' frolicked in the morning), shower humming something to myself. Tap my feet in some rhythm or the other when I walk barefoot. Heavy metal runs in my veins when traveling in the college bus.. All this is interspersed only by minutes of speech or much relished moments of silence.

It's only a matter of time before technology is misused, as those idiotic oldies (who love criticising the internet, mobile phones etc) say. Somehow, God seems to have issued a royal decree ordering loudspeakers of highest decibel levels to be installed in the nearby streets whenever there's a festival at the temple.

God: ..and get the makes by Bose. Ye'know, those tiny unassuming ones which make a LOT of noise.. I LOVE them!
%$%!@#: Yes your omnipotence.. but those are real costl-
God: Do not interrupt me, thou mortal earthling. Thou shalt be playing all these songs *takes out a list of the latest, and time honoured favourites of the festival audio managers* This one in the morning.. then this in the afternoon.. NO SHUFFLE, mind you. I want this in the exact order and crossfaded. Get me?
%$%!@#: Yes your majestic Godliness.
God: Righto, run along and do what I told you.
*ching* (disappears)

%$%!@#: (to manager) Well we can't afford Bose.. We'll get a couple of 'duplis' from Thakarapparambu.. and dunk the rest of the finance heheheh
manager: njeheheheh hm.. okay.

Two days later, a petti-auto arrives and depostits loud-speaker dabbas every fifty metres, and special amp-cum-reinforcement-speakers at every junction surrounding the temple. The volume knob on the amplifier is disfunctional (nevertheless at highest volume setting) and the party is on!! And what a song selection this time... Usually the songs are bearable, but for the last one week (precisely the inspiration for this post), they are goddamn driving me mad! I can only arrive at the perfectly logical conclusion that the eject of the CD player they're using has stopped working and thus the one CD they have is stuck inside for eternity, for our sons and grandsons and greatgrandsons to hear and go mad. The guy behind the controls just comes and turns it on, and switches between live and CD at times. That's pretty much the arsehole's job. He's probably deaf, or with as much sense of music as a tapeworm. The same songs keep repeating in the same order every day, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again... :(

Seems 'Alaipaayuthe' has turned into the national anthem. I hear it everyday in the morning and at night, and every goddamn sonofamother wants to sing it in a carnatic recital and every damn daughter wants to dance to it. I've developed a clenching-fist reflex to that song now. Maybe my brain imagines myself strangling someone. And if somebody is listening, CARNATIC MUSIC SOUNDS REAL HORRIBLE FROM A GODDAMN LOUDSPEAKER BOX, EVEN FOR A MINUTE. Carnatic music is meant to be enjoyed live, not blared over some black box. Ditto for Hindustani. There's this real pleasure in hearing the sympathetic strings of a sarod or sitar twang richly in resonance with the strings plucked by the player..

Then there are the repetitive devotional songs. They're basically the product of a jobless tramp turned composer who suddenly divined on a tune for two lines of a song and met up with a devotional-song writer, and the two went out to a kallushaap to discuss plans to make quick money. The question of 'what abt the music for the remaining lines' changed into 'why any music for the remaining lines' by some spark in the godforsaken brain of the 'composer'.. and the influence of the spirit acted as a catalyst for the spiritual :P Result: One tune, three songs in praise of three Gods. Three hours of pure spirituality for the masses.
God knows how people tolerate the same tune going on and on and on with just changes in lyrics, for one whole hour. Height of retardation. And the lyrics ha.. Some of them are threats to the tourism industry. Straight from what clothes to pack, what bus/train is the best suited for the journey, to where the temple is, the history behind it, and what people do there.. all in a question-answer form of a child asking her dad. (Rumours of multiple-answer type QA albums about to be released soon are about)

The torture continues.. I restrain my urge to blow those boxes up... and I don't step out of my room nowadays. My headphones are my best friend. And sometimes Megadeth sounds infinitely better than spirituality.

18 comments:

Srivardhan said...

lol.. good post there.. :D

devotional music is the in-thing nowadays.. cos
a) there's "big money" in it
b) just anybody can "sing"..without fearing the wrath of god!!
c) u have lots of options to choose from.. exhaustive lists of gods, religions, cults, neo-bhaktas etc..

keep blogging!!

(P.S: i've posted something similar on my blog too.. check it out :) )

Niranjani said...

hahah..that was hilarious..that part about the birth of a devotional song was fantastically creative !!
oh these devotional songs they always get on my nerves..and the worst part is the cassettes are all worn out and fungus eaten ..
" thenja record " so to say ..that they sound like a dinosaur's scream in jurassic park !!

Sriram said...

@Srivardhan: Thanks bro for dropping by :)Yeah I'll dig through yours asap!

@Niranjani: Thenja record lol.. something like a DJ's turntable :P
Btw the songs are still going on now :(

n i t i n said...

hahahahahahahaha!!!!!



hahahahahahahaha!!!!!

enikkippo ithreye comment cheyyanokku.... :P



enjoy till it lasts....!!!! :P

/urgu said...

:)

Sidhusaaheb said...

I think you need something like http://www.cnet.com.au/bose-quietcomfort-2-acoustic-noise-cancelling-headphones-240002300.htm

OR

http://reviews.cnet.com/headphones/bose-quietcomfort-3/4505-7877_7-31929466.html .

:D

Sriram said...

@nitin: It's gettting over today muhahahaha!

@guru: :P

@Sidhusaaheb: Those are awesome.. Ideal ones for this situation :)

Hari said...

Awesome post man!!

I was reminded of urgu's post as I read this. :)

The area where you live, as I know, is the melting pot of 'devotional music'. God save you people! :D

Suraj said...
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Mon Espace said...

Hahaha!! amen to that...I just pack up my bags and leave to a friends place when the *temple next door* has its festival..

Anyway thanks for finding my blog..the feeling is mutual :)

Sriram said...

@suraj: Thanks for dropping by! I went thru ur profile(via Srivardhan's), looked at some pics of urs but I'm still in the dark as to how we know each other.. I'm totally hopeless at these things :( Still racking my brains...

@veda: hehe I'll try that next time :D thanks for dropping by :)

Sriram said...

@hari: About the place.. well not exactly. It's more like you'll find a lot of hard-core carnatic music fans (beetel leaf chewing, thaalam-patting, "besh besh.. jore!" ppl) here.. :P

Sajad said...

dude..this is so true..i remembr my icse bords wen for d 1st time u seriusly thnk of studying n i hear "music" for d gods. cabaret songs fr d godess has always stumpd me.

Wonderfully echoed.

Suraj said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
silverine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aparna Mohan said...

Hi Sriram.Am sosrry for the delay.Nice post:).Yeah,the blaring loudspeakers are enough to spoil our day!We are blessed with a lot of them unfortunately.Keep blogging bro:)

jj said...

Late comment...:(
I can so relate to what you went through. I lived close to a temple and the temple festival was always held during feb-march. Ideal times during school-life eh?
I liked the usual bhajans and certain devotional songs they used to play but film songs during the festival season was such a torture.

Nice post. Gave me some food for thought for another trip down the memory lane :D

Sriram said...

@sajad: ^5 dude :)

@both the deleted comments: Got ur point folks :D

@Aparna: Heyo sis.. thanks for dropping by.. do come in often :)

@jj: lol.. though devotional songs are ok within limits, in this case I craved for anything but the same songs.. Even a 'torturous' film song! Thanks for visiting my blog.. do drop in often :)