4.04.2010

Om Wittala Wit-tala Pun-duranga!

And so it happened one lazy Saturday afternoon (Haha die, you grammar freaks who threated folks starting sentences with 'and'.. Here I am, starting a whole goddamn blog-post with a lowly conjunction!) that @Schreiwarduhnn came up with this idea of twitter-shenoys (Update: He's posted his collection here)
Shenoys, for the uninitiated, are named after the delightful creations of (you guessed it), Shenoy, and are very similar to the so called Feghoots. A long cooked up story, ending in a rather 'groaner' pun at some popular saying or phrase. As with twitter invading the world, the 140 character version took wings too. Here are a few your humble blog-owner's old lemon churned out, for your rreading pleashurre saar:

Meet Sasi.. He is a head-load worker in a specific section of a huge spice farm. He loves his job though.. Calls it labour of clove.

The lady was so distraught she ran all the way to the mine, and went inside it to meet her husband, to weep in his arms. Unfortunately, he gave her the coal shoulder.

That girl's already been proposed to by four guys. She's four-bidden fruit.

Mama kangaroo was really upset at little joey spending his whole time snuggling up against her instead of climbing out and growing up.. "He's such a pouch potato!", she exclaimed.

Apple initially christened their music player 'Pod'.. but seeing it was so sexy and steal-worthy, they were asked to keep an i on it :)

Atlas meets another Atlas: "Why, its a small world!"

When you create a document in MS-Word solely using the speech recognition tool: Word of mouth.

The HOD, quite unexpectedly, admired the mass bunk: It was a class act, he said.

How do old men who're hard of hearing convey that to u? "Go on, talk.. I'm all years!"

"As much as I love sodomy", one gay said to another, "I really wish you'd keep your mouth shut during the act.. I dont like people talking behind my back".

Mallu friend was puzzled over how to address his new pet.. Finally after much thought he says, "Well I suppose I'll call it 'eday'" :P

The witty king often used to send the royal cobbler into a tizzy, saying, "I shall be giving you the boot this afternoon"

In the olden days, rather than locomotives, deer (and similar antelopes) used to pull small trains. So much that at the far ends of platforms in railway stations, there used to be a board saying: "The buck stops here".

The bullet pierced through the darkness, and got him right in his manhood. Yelling in pain, he screamed, "You bastards!!! That was a fuckin shot in the DORK!!"

The circuit assembler guy was insanely angry the whole afternoon. It was, after hours and hours of searching for a missing IC that he discovered, he had the chip on his shoulder.

The rapist was busy teaching the apprentice 'the old in-and-out'.. Summing it up nicely, he said, "As you sew, so shall you rape".

The accountant was caught sleeping with her co-worker.. The boss (her husband) barges in, sees that and shouts, "TALLY HO!!!"

The sleepy office is about to shut shop for the day.. It's 'leave and let leave' time.

I fuckin HATE that boy at the flour-mill like anything.. One of these days I'll give him an axe to grind!

Overheard at a level crossing: "This freight train seems so damn long.." "But it'll pass by soon.. All goods things must come to an end!"

16 comments:

brajeshm said...

haha lol creativity working overtime eh?looks like you took The Joker's endeavour upon yourself;) was good macha:)cheerio:)

Jyotishko said...

Punny. Very punny. Good one mate :D

roshny said...

wow! i mean-you thought of all this all by yourself? have seen most of these on my twitter timeline, but i thought it was..you know, popular among the..er..young gen or smthing!

really cool stuff!
my favs..

The lady was so distraught she ran all the way to the mine, and went inside it to meet her husband, to weep in his arms. Unfortunately, he gave her the coal shoulder.

Mama kangaroo was really upset at little joey spending his whole time snuggling up against her instead of climbing out and growing up.. "He's such a pouch potato!", she exclaimed.


hmm..u r like a..sarvakalavallabhan or smthing eh?

Sriram said...

@brajesh: Though it has nothing to do with the post, I'd say V (from the vendetta movie) sort of got me :D

@Jyotishko: Thanks for dropping by :)

@roshny: Eh.. young gen, ol' lady?? :D And yes I assure u this is legit stuff, coined half ystday afnoon and the rest, a couple of hours back, munching on a mysore-pak, grinding my way through spicy mixture and sipping some strong tea :) not to mention, a little high off Led Zeppelin :D

Srivardhan said...

Gosh! If i sit in front of ur blog for a little more time, i'll be sitting in the line of fire! :D

blunt edges said...

lol...u actually came up with each one of those? bravo! :D

narendra shenoy said...

Super stuff! Enjoyed :)

Sriram said...

@srivardhan: Line of fire = line of ire (of lab ppl, etc)?

@blunt_edges: Gee.. thanks :)

@narendra_shenoy: truly honoured sir! :D

Ana said...

Wow, you're good with this. It's weird how the errors seemed right :P

Kudos to your err ear creativity ;)

The Blue Indian said...

LOL! My favorite, needless to say - all goods things must come to an end!
Off late railfans in my side of the country have been bitten by the bug of composing "railfanning shayari"*, you are taking it one step further!

* Sample of a "railfanning shayari" composed by yours truly-

"Raja ko hua pyaar, usko mil gayi rani...
Raja ko hua pyaar, usko mil gayi rani...
...
130 ki speed pe chali gayi Rajdhani!"

Anonymous said...

:D

Beautiful! Especially @"Buck Stops here" and "All Goods Trains"!! You seem to have become quite infatuated with Shenoy(s) :P

@Karan: Nice one! Looking to see more shayeris on your blawg :-)

Manish said...

PS: The previous comment was mine. I forgot to leave my name there :D

Sriram said...

@Ana: Thanks for dropping by :)

@karan: u got my reply offtrack :P

@manish: Ah.. IR love :)

sruthy said...

ah, after every day drizzles a shower of pun......
kudos to your creativity.....;)

Insightful Instincts said...

Nice set of puns.. Enjoyable :)

Anonymous said...

Brilliant work! Thank you from a woman who wishes she had more junk in the trunk!