12.20.2010

Stereofuckintyping

Supposedly, according to newspapers, I've turned overnight into a mascot for hot steamy dosas, gooey chutneys and probably mundu-barechested-bald-headed-heavy-poonal-wearing middle aged sambhar-burping vegetarian men too. But justice must be done, and truth they say, rears its head sooner or later. Hence, I begin.

Our TRUE story begins not-very-long-long ago, not-very-far-far away, in this sleepy town called Trivandrum, home to an Engineering College (well, lots of them, to be precise) and also to a very screwed up species of homo sapiens named Reporters.

A warm afternoon, sometime like a week or so before the exams I think.. This guy, lets call him A, working for a (lead) newspaper, calls up. He's working on some column where he, among other equally boring things, describes places where college students hang out, and have food. Fair enough.

The bloke wanted to ask me a couple of questions on where we usually chose to satisfy our growling tummies. The first thing he asks is,
"How is your canteen.. Does it have good stuff?"

Now, no person who has done his graduation in a college in tvm will ever think of his canteen with anything except disgust. I kept a straight face (he couldn't see it over the phone but anyway..) and told him,
"Well, a lot of ppl do eat at our canteen, but frankly, the food there is boring. So most of us, when we dont bring lunch, choose to eat elsewhere."

A: "so what other places do u frequent?"

Me: "Well there's this Punjabi dhaba near college, or better, one at Overbridge, called Ramji, where both school buddies and college buddies frequently go. It's really good. Other than that, you have the usual hangout places - CCD, Ambrosia, etc. The usual food they have there is eaten there"

A: "Sri, you're a vegetarian?"

Me: "Yeah, why?"

A: "You eat these dosas and stuff dont u? At these roadside eateries.. thattukadas..."

Me: "Um well lots of ppl do eat there, that's why they're so popular in tvm arent they?"

A: "Alright Sree, give me names and numbers of a few of your friends too (non vegetarian folks I mean).. I'll talk to them, thanks"

I did the needful.
All was peace and quiet. Till a twisted, andwicked piece appeared in the paper. So now, to the world:

1. I seem to adore dosas from roadside eateries and speak orgasmically of dipping them in steamy smokey chutneys.
2. I seem to have (committed the terrible mistake of having) called my canteen food tasty.
3. Horror of horrors, I seem to like SOUTH Indian food at the DHABA.
4. While my friends talked about better (albeit with fantastical names.. yeah he made a lot of that up too) food at seemingly better locations, I have turned out to be the complete jerk who has tasted nothing beyond the roadside eatery and have no idea what a dhaba is anyway.

Well, we did have a good laugh over it. Hilarious, but still, what the fuck, Express?!

So that's what a vegetarian is supposed to do eh Mr A? Alright, next time someone asks me, I'm a fuckin cannibal.

PS: For those who didnt understand what the heck all this is about, kindly ignore and wait till the next blog post. It will be more coherent, I assure you.

7 comments:

BaluRaj said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BaluRaj said...

Well, a cat stuck on top of a tree is prime time exclusive these days, what more can we expect from those psychos:D

But should say this, loved the report and the variety you guys provided, irrespective of whether the reporter manufactured some points or not:D

Bright side, now we know how newspapers roll, HANDS ON:D:D

lady_strlight said...

AAhh!! dosaman's POV :D Awesome entry man! :D But u left out sasi's mexican rolls XD It was hilarious too :P

Akanksha Pandey said...

Rofl. I'm still laughing. But yeah completely understand your sentiments.Lol like I said , been a victim of stereotyping way too long. And to all those morons with closed minds and sensibilities harbored at minus : JUMP!! :P

No.seriously. :|

Hari said...

Stereotyping kills, period.

Don't worry mate, happens with everyone. Cest la vie. Been there seen that.

The Blue Indian said...

Dude, having featured in THREE newspaper articles about IRFCA, I can so relate to your frustration.. you can imagine if they twisted facts on a simple food article, what all blasphemy I had to read in those 3 articles about a complicated seemingly-insane hobby :P

kaveri ashok said...

Hey! Came across your blog casually. Loved your style and identified with the mallu and calvin and xkcd and rail-travel philia and PGW elements so kept reading!
This one particularly tempted me to comment, empathy reasons.
Years back. When i was still a teen.
Lets call her Ms.B writing for this leading womens magazine in kerala. There was this article on teenagers. I was asked few question on phn. I went on about my plans to have a "vibrant" life with new experiences and how I admire Oscar Wilde and Basheer. Just before hanging up she asked me about friends. Since i was going through the regular sentiments of the last few months at school, i muttered sth abt social n/k-ing sites to keep in contact with the chums.
The next thing i know about this article is the long cross examination of my 90 year old grandpa about the heading with my photo - adichupoli jeevitham kothikkunna kaumaaram! and if you've seen one of these, u might knw there is this small subheading usually, which in my case, said this girl says she just cant wait to join orkut and meet strangers on the net! I had a hard time explaining to my folks at school also.
Ever since, although i read gossips and controversies about statements made by people in the media, i give them the benefit of "stereofuckintyping"!